Friday, December 24, 2021

Wise notes and quotes 2021

“To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common-this is my symphony.”

~ William Henry Channing

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“Humor is tragedy plus time."

~ Speaking of Psychology Podcast. "What makes things funny?" with Peter McGraw, Ph.D. 

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“I had broken the fundamental rule of psychotherapy. Do not strip away a patient’s defenses if you have nothing better to offer in their stead.”

~Irvin Yalom, “Momma and the meaning of life: tales of psychotherapy.”

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 “Most of us take pride in our knowledge and expertise and in staying true to our beliefs and opinions. That makes sense in a stable world where we get rewarded for conviction in our ideas. The problem is that we live in the rapidly changing world where we need to spend as much time rethinking as we do thinking.”

~ Adam Grant, “Think again: the power of knowing what you don’t know”  

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 “He wouldn’t know what to feel until he knew what to think.”

~ Toni Morrison, “The Song of Solomon”

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 “Listen, the problem isn’t how hard you’re working, it’s that you are working on things that aren’t right for you. Your goals in motivations aren’t harmonizing with your deepest truths.”

 “Now, I have something scary to tell you. You don’t have that much time left to live. Whether it’s five years or 55, it’s not all that long. You have no time waste on suffering. No time to keep torturing your nature to serve your culture. The time for integrity is now.”

“Every day you make thousands of tiny decisions about what to do with your time. Every single choice is a chance to turn toward the life you really want. Repeatedly putting a little less time into what you don’t love, and a little more into what you do love, Is your next step on your way to integrity.”

“What would you do if you were absolutely free?”

~ Martha Beck, “The way of integrity: finding the path to your true self.”  

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“Like fighting an addiction, being an anti-racist requires a persistent self-awareness, constant self-criticism, and regular self-examination.”

 “One of racism’s harms is the way the falls on unexceptional black person who is asked to be extraordinary just to survive.”

~ Ibram X. Kendi, “How to be an antiracist”

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 “The moral arc of our life bends toward meaning, especially if we bend it that way with all our damn might.”

 “If you are uncomfortable—in deep pain, angry, yearning, confused—you don’t have a problem, you have a life. Being human is not hard because you’re doing it wrong, it’s hard because you’re doing it right. You will never change the fact that being human is hard, so you must change your idea that it was ever supposed to be easy.”

~ Glennon Doyle, “Untamed”

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“Your past is not an excuse but it is an explanation”

~ Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce D. Perry, “What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing.”

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 “Most of us most of the time live with unquestioned belief that the world looks as does because that’s the way it is. There’s one small step from this belief to another: other people view the world much the way I do. These beliefs which have been called naive realism are essential to the sense of a reality we share with other people. We rarely question these beliefs. We hold a single interpretation of the world around us at any single time. And we normally invest very little effort in creating plausible alternatives to it. One interpretation is enough and we experiences as truth. We do not go through life imagining alternative ways to see what we see.”

~ Daniel Kahneman, Olivier Sibony and Cass R. Sunstein, “Noise: A Flaw in Human Judgment”

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 “From a purely biological perspective, we humans are feeling creatures who think, rather than thinking creatures who feel. Neuroanatomically you and I are programmed to feel our emotions. And any attempt we may make to bypass or ignore what we are feeling may have the power to derail our mental health at this most fundamental level.”

“Anger is an energetic response to pain.”

~ Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD, “Whole Brain Living: The Anatomy of Choice and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life”

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 “You have a burden. The richer the soil, the more unforgivable the failure to cultivate it.”

~ Irvin Yalom, “When Nietzsche wept”

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Chinese parable - Is it good? is in bad? Maybe so, Maybe not. We’ll see. | Dr. Marlo Archer

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Alexithymia “emotional blindness”: An inability to identify and describe one’s feelings or emotions

~ American Psychology Association dictionary

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A conversation between Pico Iyer and Elizabeth Gilbert on what it means to retreat into smallness, and grapple with a complex understanding of hope, as the world continues to overwhelm.

~ OnBeing podcast  

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“I recognized winter. I saw it coming (a mile off, since you ask), and I looked it in the eye. I greeted it and let it in. I had some tricks up my sleeve, you see. I've learned them the hard way. When I started feeling the drag of winter, I began to treat myself like a favored child: with kindness and love. I assumed my needs were reasonable and that my feelings were signals of something important. I kept myself well fed and made sure I was getting enough sleep. I took myself for walks in the fresh air and spent time doing things that soothed me. I asked myself: What is this winter all about? I asked myself: What change is coming?”

“Doing those deeply unfashionable things—slowing down, letting your spare time expand, getting enough sleep, resting—is a radical act now, but it is essential. This is a crossroads we all know, a moment when you need to shed a skin. If you do, you’ll expose all those painful nerve endings and feel so raw that you’ll need to take care of yourself for a while. If you don’t, then that skin will harden around you.”

 “If we don’t allow ourselves the fundamental honesty of our own sadness, then we miss an important cue to adapt. We seem to be living in an age when we’re bombarded with entreaties to be happy, but we’re suffering from an avalanche of depression. We’re urged to stop sweating the small stuff, yet we’re chronically anxious. I often wonder if these are just normal feelings that become monstrous when they’re denied. A great deal of life will always suck. There will be moments when we’re riding high and moments when we can’t bear to get out of bed. Both are normal. Both in fact require a little perspective.”

 “When it’s really cold, the snow makes a lovely noise underfoot, and it’s like the air is full of stars.”

“This isn’t about you getting fixed,” he said. “This is about you living the best life you can with the parameters that you have.”

~ Katherine May, “Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times”

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 “Enlightenment is the supreme tolerance of cognitive dissonance.”

~ Robert Thurman

Also, a great interview with Robert Thurman on the “10% happier” Podcast  

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“In this world we walk on the roof of hell gathering blossoms”

~ Kobayashi Issa

2 comments:

rmgclu said...

Insightful, as always! Cheers for the new year!
You’re a SUPER STAR RINA KOSHKINA!

Rina Koshkina said...

Thank you so much 😊 Adore you. Thank for being my huge fan